The Perfect Pair of Sunglasses
August 10th, 2006 by Jackie
The Perfect Pair of Sunglasses
Finding the perfect pair of sunglasses can be a nightmare. Last night Summer and I went out to the mall to do just that. As if the mall isn’t crazy enough with all those perky fair- weather shoppers, there was a major sale going on. You’d have thought it was Christmas Eve or something!
We were exhausted by the time we finally arrived at the unnamed department store to peruse their extensive sunglass selection. Of course, we’re troopers; we persevered, making our way through the juniors, men’s and lingerie departments on our way to the accessories. That was when I saw them: The Perfect Sunglasses! The Perfect Sunglasses!
The perfect sunglasses gleamed and glimmered through leather purses, trendy hats and hip hugger belts like beacons in a fog, the harsh florescent lighting glinting off the lenses, rhinestone frames shining like they were 2 carat beauties, like they had a universe of stars dazzling off their plastic faces. They were perfect, the perfect pair of sunglasses! I grabbed Summer’s arm, hustled her past pantsuits and 50% off tubs, to the display stand where woman was trying my perfect sunglasses on for herself.
Thinking that I could tempt the woman away from my perfect pair of sunglasses with another specimen, I very slyly picked up a different pair of sunglasses, an “imperfect” pair, and said very loudly to Summer “Aren’t these SOOO cute!”
Summer looked at me strangely at first because they were horrible, ugly sunglasses but then seeing the look in my eye, realized that I needed her to play along. She played the part a little too well, throwing her arms about, hopping a bit from foot to foot and shrieking “yes, yes those are really cute. Those are the perfect pair of sunglasses!”
In a slow motion second full of fear and surprise at Summer’s disconcerting outburst, the perfect sunglasses slipped from the woman’s fingertips and went freefalling toward the ‘table of winner takes all.’
I thought twice about it, I really did, but as soon as my perfect sunglasses hit that table I was off and running, perfect sunglasses in hand, toward the checkout across the store. Summer and that sorry woman were left standing in a stunned silence.
Maybe I should feel bad about it, and I do a little bit, but you know what, right now, right this minute, I am wearing The Perfect Sunglasses and they really do look great!
-Jackie
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